Bienvenidos

a mi vida.

Well, here it is, an amazing Saturday evening. The snow is incredible. I can't help but the loving part of my love-hate relationship with cold weather to come out when the snow is new. It is truly amazing. I hate it when they come and move it away and cover it up with the blackness called coal.

Yesterday I was driving. I had to stop suddenly because there was a deer in the middle of my road, a semi-frequent occurance on my road. It was very picturesque. There ended up being three, and they all crossed in front of me and went down the side of the embankment and gracefully leaped over the fence into a field that was partially white with some of the long, tan grasses from the summer still visible. The sun was going down, and pinks mixed with oranges were reflecting through the bare trees. If you hadn't watched these deer enter the field, you wouldn't have been able to see them. It took about 30 seconds, and I was wishing that I had thought to whip out my camera and capture these amazing creatures that are taken for granted because they are here in such abundance.

Did you know that I turn 18 in just a little over 4 months?? Two days before I graduate. It hit me again the other night. For one, I am still not graduating for at least another year, I mean, honestly, Im not really a senior. I am, but Im not, at the same time. :) Im very excited for our beach trip as a class... One last hurrah.
Anyway, I, Rachel, am turning 18. I have enjoyed being 17... I have actually been admitting to 17 for a little over a year now. :) I just got tired of people dropping their mouths when I said 16... On average, I get guesses of 24-26 from people that have just met me... I don't know why. Then I have to tell them Im 17 and they fall all over themselves appologizing, and the eligible bachelors suddenly remember their girlfriends, etc. So now Im going to be 18. It'll be an adventure, that's for sure.
I also decided, this same night that the epiphany of becoming 18 hit me, that I will not seriously date for another year. I want to finish out this semester, my last one of high school strong, and I also need to figure out how to keep my GPA up in college. So, not that I will absolutely not go on dates, I just am not going to be going on a steady relationship, b/c those are exhausting and Im just not ready... this past year w/out having to worry about someone else has been nice. Sure, the support system is nice, but I am myself, and I fix my hair how I want (or dont fix it at all) and just in general am myself.
I cleaned my room over the past week. I took everything out of the bottom of my closet and made a huuuuge pile in the middle of my floor. Today I took the time to finish going over everything and got the floor so that the only things on it are my two backpacks and my trash can and my snake cage. It looks incredible. I also put my rugs back down. They just lend to making the room look complete. Now all I have to do is figure out what Im doing with all the misc. clothes on my bed... The next cleaning project will be my bookshelf, maybe, or going through my clothes in my closet, but I did that fairly recently... and I need to re-go through my college stuff so that I make sure Im not missing any deadlines. Gah! college. haha. right.

Another exciting thing- I am taking a spanish class this semester!! La clase de espanol tres. They know two more tenses than I do and yet, I have an edge of understanding how to think on my feet to actually speak in it and have more than a "hey how are you conversation" not that Im any good at it, but I understand the logistics and that it can be done. My favorite is telling a story, then you come across a word that is specific to what you are trying to convey, so you spend 5 minutes trying to explain the word, and by that time, you have forgotten what story you are telling, your sole purpose is now coming across a new vocabulary word that you probably won't remember in a day or two. Back to the spanish class.. I don't know, I thought I would be able to handle it, but Im trying to go through the part of the book that they've already made it through, but I think Ill be playing catch-up the whole semester, which will be good for me, b/c I dont think I challenged myself this past semester. I just did things other that scholastic ones. I hate it when people look down on me b/c they think Im throwing something away... I dont know. Im not perfect, and I dont expect to fit into your standards. I decided that I was going to live my life for myself, not for other people like you. I had a good time, and now I've found something that will challenge me and I hope and pray that Ill be able to hold the vision for 4 months and not just give up and let it go. It'll be a lot of work, and there will be several embarrasing, dumb questions all semester long, but that's ok. Im also excited b/c I am seeing another side of public schools. My art class is a lower-level required class, but my new spanish class is 3rd year, and pretty much the only people in there are the intellectuals and the over-achievers, so to speak,
so... ya, Im seeing a totally different side than the required, everyone takes this class side of things. It's nice, and Im hopeful for some new friends.
I wonder what they think of me. A new kid, coming in a day after semester, and doesnt understand the vocabulary, and her pronunciation is rusty... oh well, Im there to learn, and Im sure Ill learn a lot.
I already have.

Soccer season coming up!! Im so out of shape, and haven't exersized in over a week... gah... i have a feeling I won't get into shape before practice, oh well... Im excited and nervous all at the same time. Amanda is sick, and that'll really affect us, and we dont have her older stister, Abby, b/c she is no longer attending CF. Gah!! Im the oldest and most experienced, and it'll be my turn to lead the team. Gretal will be there. She's so cool. :) but it's my last year. so it's sad that it's already here, even though Im excited for someone else to be responsible to motivate me to get into shape.

OOo... another exciting thing. We have our family vacation set up. We're going to baja california, I cant remember the name of the city. But it's another beach vacation... my absolute favorite. So im going to indulge in a tanning package and go a few times before Senior Trip and a few times before family vacation, which is in late July.
Maybe Ill try to find a new suit too... That is always challenging...

speaking of challenging, finding a CF appropriate dress is very challenging... and they rescheduled the same sat that I have my interview for a scholarship at MSU. at 200-220. Then there is a luncheon. and it takes 3 hours to get to here from there. So let's say I get out of there at, like, 330. I won't get home till 630. and I think the dance starts at 8 or 9... That's def. crunching it. At least my hair's easy... maybe Ill set up an appointment to get my make-up done in Springfeild. lol. Although that would totally eliminate me doing any sleeping on the way home. :) When I was setting this whole thing up with my grandmother during Christmas break it seemed like a lifetime away, and now it is just a week, and I am totally skipping my CF school on Friday to go up there and get a "private" tour of the campus. It's pretty, I've already looked around by myself over break -- My grandmother lives about 30 minutes away from campus. So I have a four-day week this next one. I am really looking forward to my spanish class... Im soooo excited!!! I don't know why I love the language so much. It's just amazing. haha... I was speaking to someone, and it was making total sense, and we had had a good conversation, then I just started laughing, b/c I listened to myself, and it just sounded like gibberish... I thought to myself, I just understood and communicated in total gibberish!! I wonder what English sounds like. I can't hear it. I just have so many connotations with all the words I hear that it's impossible to just listen to the sounds. that's what scares me w/ spanish, the connotations. I dont really know what Im saying, and new words I have no real, implied definition of the words Im using, just the literal translation into english. I have no idea what the words mean to the person Im saying them to... That's what scares me. For instance: Que? means what? It took me the longest time to realize that I could use it not just as the beginning of a question, but also in the middle of sentences. Como este: 1) What are you doing? and 2) You know what to do. anyway, just stuff like that... Can I use it like this?? Tiene sentido??? lol.

Pues, I am going to go read my lotr book. lol. I checked out the whole trilogy in one book. I have made it through the first one and half of the second. They did an incredibly good job with the movie... I mean, it's really incredible. really.
the Eragon book was really dissapointing. The book [lotr] is not making me dissapointed at the movie, at all... but I still have 800 pages in the trilogy left, so we'll see.

well, that's all ive got for now
my fingers are tired. :)
Rachel