As it ends

I live in each moment, attempting to take mental pictures of this life I love

Today was my last day of classes as a sophomore. YAY! I must admit, there are teachers, classes, and students I will not miss. I am eternally grateful that we are only in our classes 16 weeks instead of like 40 like highschool. I don't know if I could handle that.

However... I will miss a lot of things. I love my life right now. I am so blessed; God is so good. He always honors His promises. He is eternally faithful.

I got an 88 on my last regular Accounting 301 test!!! This is the test I was attempting to study for the night Daisy died (I did an entry that evening). Unfortunately, even if I get a 100% on the final, I cannot get an A [sigh] this is the hardest I have ever worked for a B. BUT, it was worth it. Today in class, Dr. Ashcroft announced his "all star team". These people are the ones he wanted to recognize because they worked hard in class and he said that he likes to appreciate people for the work they do. I was one of about seven names he called out today in class out of a class of 50+ people. I definitely have a good recommendation letter out of that one... even if I did end up with a B. Overall I really enjoyed the class. It was painful at times, yes, and it was a TON of work, but I liked it. I can be successful even if I am not always right, and I'm not always right. I know it may seem strange, but I like doing something that is challenging enough that I have to work at it but not constantly fail, otherwise it just doesnt keep my attention.

Went to Gram's after classes and had a good afternoon laying in the sun and reading astronomy and napping alternately. The day was gorgeous. Lazy poofy clouds rolling through the majestically blue sky, and my own private concert and sky dance from two male mockingbirds. One of my top 2 favorite types of birds... the other is a baltimore oriole. I am so blessed to have her here, close and almost always available. I will live there three weeks this summer for my intersession class before I leave for China, and depending on how it goes I may decide to live there SP10 semester when I get back instead of moving back into the dorms.

Then Grams and Jade and I went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays and I ate a HUGE burger. It was amazing.

Back to campus for some more astronomy and chilling. Then Jade and I decided to watch Adam Sandler's 50 First Dates. It was a great movie. I teared up on more than one occasion... I even almost forgot that it was Adam Sandler! I couldn't believe it.
I will miss her. This was an era. I feel in my spirit that it wont ever be like it is right now. This is healthy, but I will miss it for sure. In this way I almost feel like I'm a senior all over again, trying to take all of these mental pictures and movies because I know it is ending. Of course, like all good things in life, if it continued indefinitely, it would become not a good thing. I think the best thing about college is its brevity and yet depth. You meet all of these people and have all of these conversations. There are the major players and the minor players. The people you love and yet for some reason never hang out with again. The people you can't seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try. The people you never want to ever loose.

I am excited for what the next two years hold. They will look completely different, this much is sure. I will have a blast, this too is assured. I will grow and change and stretch and change, that too is a guarantee. I am excited to meet the woman who will walk out of the next two years. I am excited to see where she will go. I am ready. I am eager, and thus it begins.

I leave you with this.
Make plans for the future. Love always.

On the brink

Here I stand, on the edge, looking over.

I am a sophomore, junior by credit hours. I have at least the next year of my life practically set in stone as to where I'll be and what I'm doing (at least big picture)

I filed my degree program earlier this week for a BS in Accounting. I have to take 9 hours this summer. I am going to apply to MBS to work as a bi-lingual receptionist over the summer. I am very excited about working for the company, the pay, and the job description. September 1 I will begin my next big journey abroad (although there is family vacation between now and then). I fly to Beijing, China. What a life!

I am looking forward to loosing myself into the language and enduring culture. I am excited for the challenges I will face, the sites I will see, and the things I will learn about myself.

As of right now, I will graduate 'on-time' from MSU in spring of 2011. After graduation I would like to work as an accountant while I put myself through grad school, most likely for my MBA. This would be (as of what I am thinking right now) either in St Louis while attending WashU or back to good ol' CoMO to attend MU.


What about my life right now, you ask. It has been awhile, after all.

Life is good, God is good. I cut out all of the confusing guys from my life that did not deserve my time about 5 months ago, and started following the things God had set before me. He is so good. I screw up, but we walk together, and He is a bigger part of my everyday living than ever before. I love my friends, and what I am doing. I have become so comfortable where I am. I am excited for China, in the fact that I want to be there. But, I don't want to leave. I have learned, in theory, how to say no. I do a lot more often than I used to, but most likely not as often as I should.


Most recent life-rocks

• Papau fell about 3 weeks ago and shattered his hip. He had emergency hip replacement and is in temporary assisted living. I am so thankful that I live in town. I go to see him about once a week for a few hours. It amazing what God does for me every time I go. Old people are pretty cool, and God moves when you speak with them. I am making lots of friends.

• Tristan turns 7 today!

• Matthew turns 10 on the 28th of this month!

• Hannah, Jade, Kimberly, Justin, Jim and I are headed to Panama City Beach for Spring Break '09. I am really excited!! We got a townhouse that sleeps 6, with our own hot tub and grill, and it's going to be a freaking awesome week. I love the beach.

I leave you with this:

"In other words, we are literally made of star dust!"*





*Comins, Neil F., and William J. Kaufmann III. Discovering the Universe. 8th ed. New York: W. H. Freeman and Company, 2008.

CIS class

So... I am sitting in my CIS class. Nothing too exciting, I'm not paying attention. We're getting our tests back currently... hope I did ok! She curved them, so I'm sure I'm fine.



I am obsessing with igoogle right now. If you have never heard of it, "give it a try" (as my Chinese 101 teacher is constantly saying)


***time passes, now I'm at my computer in my room***



Yay! I got an 82%, AND I have a 104.9% in the class :) That's out of the 735 of 1,000 points available in the class... I am sitting pretty! Thank goodness, becuase in a few of my other classes the story isn't so grand.


Also: I got another opportunity to take my ECO quiz that was due today over again!! This is very exciting becuase I do not have an A in there, and am working vigorously to pull my grade up. Not easy folks, not easy.


Guess what?!? I'm coming home today! :)


I leave you with this.
How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

Dream Girls

Well, that's what my brain is full of right now -- Dream Girls. It was quite an excellent movie. I highly recommend it -- Much better than the one I saw last night, Children of Men. hehe. I went w/ my daddy. Neither of us liked it. That's 0 for 2 on the R movies I've seen in theaters. haha. The first one was that gory one done by whoever directed Braveheart, which is by far my favorite movie of all time, Braveheart that is, this other one was no good. I've seen it [Braveheart] like, 6 times, and believe me, that's a lot of times for me to see something more than one time. The only 2 movies I've seen more times than that are Bambi and The Three Musketeers, which both still remained practically tied for 1st. :-P
That, and scamper the penguin is pretty good too...
oh, and Fox and the Hound!!

Tomorrow is Monday. I'm headed to the Intersection and then to my small group, and sometime in between all that I've got to sqeeze in calling MSU about setting up a visit time on Friday; Im skipping CF school to go down there b/c I already have to for an interview, but I want to see the campus in full swing and I want to be able to come back on Saturday for the dance; not that I actually want to go to the dance, but other people want me to, and I want to be wanted, and if I don't go to the things where Im wanted, I wont be wanted anymore. good luck trying to figure that one out. :) Also get a mile in and work on catching up on Spanish; most of my free time is devoted to spanish now, as it should be.
Ha - I think I want to go to MSU, they are offering me the most money right now. I already have full tuition plus the Bright Flight. then, if I get this 1500 scholarship that they are offering me, Ill only have to pay... let's see... a little over 2 grand plus extras and books. [that's per year ladies and gentlemen]

but Im really drawn to UMKC. I dont know why, maybe it's b/c I havent seen the campus yet and Im one of 36 to be accepted into their program. I dont really or haven't really ever liked the feel of KC, yet it might be fun to live there for a few years. I will honestly probably end up coming back to MU for my grad years. Im gonna work hard and try to at least keep a 3.8, we'll see... my dream is to do a 4.0, but I couldn't even do that in h.s. and I've learned that doing things other than just scholarship can actually be fun...

and then there's the wild card, SBU. I have no idea. I mean, I could potentially get the full ride, and I could potentially not. If I do, that's probably where Ill be going, unless I get the full ride to MSU also, and in that case, that's where Ill be going. Now, up until this point these are strictly my plans, and I am ready and very willing if I could just hear God's voice on this stuff to very quickly change my mind, as I really don't have a for sure say any way...

Well, like I said, Dream Girls, a very excellent movie, very motivating and such.
Now I have to finish my Bible hw so I dont have to do it tom, and my English hw so I can get an A. All of this, motivated by this o-so-motivating movie. I really do want to reach the top of what I can reach, and am willing to do it even though I see more hurts ahead. Ha! this ties into what Phil spoke about at church this morning... Worship. yes, that's it, life all ties back together.
:)
Sincerly Yours,
Rachel

ps. did you know that Catherine's old cell phone number is now in use by Mr. Hamilton?? Yes, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all. It's a small, small world!

Bienvenidos

a mi vida.

Well, here it is, an amazing Saturday evening. The snow is incredible. I can't help but the loving part of my love-hate relationship with cold weather to come out when the snow is new. It is truly amazing. I hate it when they come and move it away and cover it up with the blackness called coal.

Yesterday I was driving. I had to stop suddenly because there was a deer in the middle of my road, a semi-frequent occurance on my road. It was very picturesque. There ended up being three, and they all crossed in front of me and went down the side of the embankment and gracefully leaped over the fence into a field that was partially white with some of the long, tan grasses from the summer still visible. The sun was going down, and pinks mixed with oranges were reflecting through the bare trees. If you hadn't watched these deer enter the field, you wouldn't have been able to see them. It took about 30 seconds, and I was wishing that I had thought to whip out my camera and capture these amazing creatures that are taken for granted because they are here in such abundance.

Did you know that I turn 18 in just a little over 4 months?? Two days before I graduate. It hit me again the other night. For one, I am still not graduating for at least another year, I mean, honestly, Im not really a senior. I am, but Im not, at the same time. :) Im very excited for our beach trip as a class... One last hurrah.
Anyway, I, Rachel, am turning 18. I have enjoyed being 17... I have actually been admitting to 17 for a little over a year now. :) I just got tired of people dropping their mouths when I said 16... On average, I get guesses of 24-26 from people that have just met me... I don't know why. Then I have to tell them Im 17 and they fall all over themselves appologizing, and the eligible bachelors suddenly remember their girlfriends, etc. So now Im going to be 18. It'll be an adventure, that's for sure.
I also decided, this same night that the epiphany of becoming 18 hit me, that I will not seriously date for another year. I want to finish out this semester, my last one of high school strong, and I also need to figure out how to keep my GPA up in college. So, not that I will absolutely not go on dates, I just am not going to be going on a steady relationship, b/c those are exhausting and Im just not ready... this past year w/out having to worry about someone else has been nice. Sure, the support system is nice, but I am myself, and I fix my hair how I want (or dont fix it at all) and just in general am myself.
I cleaned my room over the past week. I took everything out of the bottom of my closet and made a huuuuge pile in the middle of my floor. Today I took the time to finish going over everything and got the floor so that the only things on it are my two backpacks and my trash can and my snake cage. It looks incredible. I also put my rugs back down. They just lend to making the room look complete. Now all I have to do is figure out what Im doing with all the misc. clothes on my bed... The next cleaning project will be my bookshelf, maybe, or going through my clothes in my closet, but I did that fairly recently... and I need to re-go through my college stuff so that I make sure Im not missing any deadlines. Gah! college. haha. right.

Another exciting thing- I am taking a spanish class this semester!! La clase de espanol tres. They know two more tenses than I do and yet, I have an edge of understanding how to think on my feet to actually speak in it and have more than a "hey how are you conversation" not that Im any good at it, but I understand the logistics and that it can be done. My favorite is telling a story, then you come across a word that is specific to what you are trying to convey, so you spend 5 minutes trying to explain the word, and by that time, you have forgotten what story you are telling, your sole purpose is now coming across a new vocabulary word that you probably won't remember in a day or two. Back to the spanish class.. I don't know, I thought I would be able to handle it, but Im trying to go through the part of the book that they've already made it through, but I think Ill be playing catch-up the whole semester, which will be good for me, b/c I dont think I challenged myself this past semester. I just did things other that scholastic ones. I hate it when people look down on me b/c they think Im throwing something away... I dont know. Im not perfect, and I dont expect to fit into your standards. I decided that I was going to live my life for myself, not for other people like you. I had a good time, and now I've found something that will challenge me and I hope and pray that Ill be able to hold the vision for 4 months and not just give up and let it go. It'll be a lot of work, and there will be several embarrasing, dumb questions all semester long, but that's ok. Im also excited b/c I am seeing another side of public schools. My art class is a lower-level required class, but my new spanish class is 3rd year, and pretty much the only people in there are the intellectuals and the over-achievers, so to speak,
so... ya, Im seeing a totally different side than the required, everyone takes this class side of things. It's nice, and Im hopeful for some new friends.
I wonder what they think of me. A new kid, coming in a day after semester, and doesnt understand the vocabulary, and her pronunciation is rusty... oh well, Im there to learn, and Im sure Ill learn a lot.
I already have.

Soccer season coming up!! Im so out of shape, and haven't exersized in over a week... gah... i have a feeling I won't get into shape before practice, oh well... Im excited and nervous all at the same time. Amanda is sick, and that'll really affect us, and we dont have her older stister, Abby, b/c she is no longer attending CF. Gah!! Im the oldest and most experienced, and it'll be my turn to lead the team. Gretal will be there. She's so cool. :) but it's my last year. so it's sad that it's already here, even though Im excited for someone else to be responsible to motivate me to get into shape.

OOo... another exciting thing. We have our family vacation set up. We're going to baja california, I cant remember the name of the city. But it's another beach vacation... my absolute favorite. So im going to indulge in a tanning package and go a few times before Senior Trip and a few times before family vacation, which is in late July.
Maybe Ill try to find a new suit too... That is always challenging...

speaking of challenging, finding a CF appropriate dress is very challenging... and they rescheduled the same sat that I have my interview for a scholarship at MSU. at 200-220. Then there is a luncheon. and it takes 3 hours to get to here from there. So let's say I get out of there at, like, 330. I won't get home till 630. and I think the dance starts at 8 or 9... That's def. crunching it. At least my hair's easy... maybe Ill set up an appointment to get my make-up done in Springfeild. lol. Although that would totally eliminate me doing any sleeping on the way home. :) When I was setting this whole thing up with my grandmother during Christmas break it seemed like a lifetime away, and now it is just a week, and I am totally skipping my CF school on Friday to go up there and get a "private" tour of the campus. It's pretty, I've already looked around by myself over break -- My grandmother lives about 30 minutes away from campus. So I have a four-day week this next one. I am really looking forward to my spanish class... Im soooo excited!!! I don't know why I love the language so much. It's just amazing. haha... I was speaking to someone, and it was making total sense, and we had had a good conversation, then I just started laughing, b/c I listened to myself, and it just sounded like gibberish... I thought to myself, I just understood and communicated in total gibberish!! I wonder what English sounds like. I can't hear it. I just have so many connotations with all the words I hear that it's impossible to just listen to the sounds. that's what scares me w/ spanish, the connotations. I dont really know what Im saying, and new words I have no real, implied definition of the words Im using, just the literal translation into english. I have no idea what the words mean to the person Im saying them to... That's what scares me. For instance: Que? means what? It took me the longest time to realize that I could use it not just as the beginning of a question, but also in the middle of sentences. Como este: 1) What are you doing? and 2) You know what to do. anyway, just stuff like that... Can I use it like this?? Tiene sentido??? lol.

Pues, I am going to go read my lotr book. lol. I checked out the whole trilogy in one book. I have made it through the first one and half of the second. They did an incredibly good job with the movie... I mean, it's really incredible. really.
the Eragon book was really dissapointing. The book [lotr] is not making me dissapointed at the movie, at all... but I still have 800 pages in the trilogy left, so we'll see.

well, that's all ive got for now
my fingers are tired. :)
Rachel